How is it going?

Many people ask me this and it is so hard to answer. It is wonderful and hard all at the same time. I must say I was thankful to go to work after spring break today. The week has been full of what I call "sibling settling" - and not in a good way. We are moving forward and making progress but still have quite a ways to go. Here are just some snippets from our life this evening.

• Today Lydia really really really wanted to wear her sandals to school that were rather inappropriate for a rainy cold day like today but I agreed since she was wearing socks (even though the shoes go between her toes) and we put her tennis shoes in her backpack. I figured the school might tell her to change or she might get tired of not being able to run easily or she might get cold. So, off she went to school in her Hello Kitty socks, her sparkly sandals, with her crown on her head. Cut to tonight when Lalie was trying to explain to me what happened at recess with the shoes. Apparently Lydia was mad to have to wear the tennis shoes to recess and threw them down the hallway. It doesn't sound like there was an adult there but it's hard to get the full story with correct details so I'm not sure. Lalie said she told a recess teacher and a 4th grade teacher but it sounds like there was no intervention. I've told Lalie that she doesn't have to feel like she needs to take care of things like that at school. I told her there are plenty of kids in schools without siblings and things will work themselves out.
  
• When I picked the girls up at daycare Lalie came to greet me but Lydia did not - which is unusual. She usually runs over to me screaming, "Mama!" with a big smile on her face. She reluctantly stopped playing with a puzzle (and VERY reluctantly helped me clean up the puzzle) and got into the car. The daycare worker said, "It looks like Lydia cut her pants with scissors at school." Ugh. OK. As Lydia stood up to leave I noticed that one of her prized shoes was also broken. Ugh. OK. When we got home I looked at the three rather large holes down the front of her pants and asked her "Why?" and she said, "I don't know." I said we might need to put the scissors away for awhile (even though this happened at school). She started hunting down scissors but then got distracted but I was impressed she understood that. I think we'll chance it and hope it doesn't happen again (famous last words, right?). She seems to understand it was wrong and even understood that I was exasperated well enough to think to say on her own, "I'm sorry," about ten minutes later.
  
• The three of us started cooking dinner and were having a great time with everyone helping out. One of the things for dinner was fish sticks. When Lydia first took the fish sticks out of the freezer she turned up her nose and was visibly unhappy to be having fish sticks. She ate them once before but took the breading off. I told her she didn't have to eat them and kept on going. I put them on the cookie sheet and waited for the oven to heat up. Then she said, "One, Mama," and wanted to eat one of them right then. I told her they were frozen, too cold, hard as a rock. I banged them on the cookie sheet to show her that she couldn't yet eat them. I cooked a few extra for her just in case she changed her mind and wanted to eat some. I put five or six on her plate and she ate them all, then said, "More." I said, "You said 'No, Mama.' You said you didn't want any. You said you wanted one. We have other things to eat." I told her I'd cook her more next time and that we had lots of other things to eat for dinner on the table. Then I went on eating. Lalie kept watching Lydia and she reported under her breath to me, "Eyes are rolling. Rolling eyes." I said OK and just ignored it. About two minutes later Lydia was happily eating the rest of the things. However...
  
• You've probably already noticed from this blog that Lydia has a bit of the flair for the dramatic (that's an understatement). She's got the whining and pleading down pat and can act like it's the end of the world at the drop of a hat over a very minor thing. She would be perfectly happy with someone waiting on her hand and foot and catering to her every whim. Me too. But that's not reality at our house. Tonight, Lydia was eating macaroni and cheese, her favorite. She ate one bowl and then wanted more. She went into the kitchen and took a small portion which was wonderful. I've been trying to get her to take only what she can eat, then get more. But, she put too much worcestershire sauce on it and wanted to dump it all out. OK. And she didn't want to keep using that fork because it also was tainted. OK. She thought I was going to get up and get her a new fork. No. She went to the drawer after realizing she had to do it herself but was unhappy because she only likes two forks - some smaller ones for kids that have designs on them. She couldn't find one and couldn't quite bring herself to use a (gasp!) regular fork. Eventually she actually found one and she kissed it and said, "I love you." to the fork. So she got herself a new bowl full but this time it was very full. She asked me to put the worcestershire sauce on so she didn't end up with too much. OK. About two minutes later she was running around pointing at the end of her tongue, wanting to drink water and very upset. I couldn't understand what was going on because she eats macaroni and cheese almost every day and always has some worcestershire sauce on it. There was not very much on it at all. So I couldn't believe it could have been too spicy. She got so upset that I couldn't understand her that she ran into my room, threw herself on my bed and began sobbing. I figured she was just being dramatic but I have a wonderful woman who has offered her childrens' services in translating for me with the Amharic when I need. I've only called once to have them explain the stool samples. But, Lydia was so upset I thought I'd call and see what the problem was. While I was looking up the phone number and talking to the woman first, Lalie came in to try to cheer Lydia up. She kept saying something over and over in a funny way to Lydia. Lydia started laughing and then was JUST FINE. OK. Well, I've got them on the phone so I might as well still ask to see what the deal was. When we finally got it translated, Lydia gave a little chuckle and then explained there was too much berbere (an Ethiopian spice - which we don't have) on the dinner and it was too hot. Just as I thought - very dramatic. She does this a lot - pointing to some little thing in her meal that is offensive that I need to take out (a piece of pepper, a spice, etc.). After I hung up I asked Lalie what in the world she had said to Lydia that cheered her up. She said it was, "Ow, bicha." Not sure I spelled that right but that translates in English to, "Yes. Yellow." So she was saying, "Yes. Yellow. Yes. Yellow. Yes. Yellow." Oh my. I packed up the offensive macaroni and cheese and am going to try feeding it to her tomorrow. I bet it will be just fine. :-)
  
• I also was cooking artichokes (Lalie's favorite) and a sweet potato for Lydia which she had requested at the store. I've seen this before so I was fully ready for her to refuse to eat the sweet potato when it was done. The artichokes were ready first and I asked Lydia if she wanted any. She turned her nose up and waved her finger back and forth with a, "No." No problem - more for me. Amazingly, she loved the sweet potato and began to eat it. Pretty soon she asked Lalie if she could have some artichoke. Ugh.
  
• But, I have to end on a good note here. After dinner I told both girls it was time to do some reading. Lalie was all excited to help Lydia with reading and read the Strawberry Shortcake version of Cinderella to her asking her, "Who is this?" Lydia responded, "Cinderella." "Very good" said Lalie. Then they read the book, "I Like Me" by Nancy Carlson (which you gave me many moons ago Sally!) and Lalie had Lydia repeat after her. Lalie made sure Lydia read it with correct expression and Lydia was happy to oblige. Oh my, the drama...